Shady Restaurant of the Month

I've decided to start a new segment on Andrew's Consommation Revue (I say this like this is an established site with months of posts and a legion of followers....but I digress). I am going to start highlighting the Shady Restaurant of the Month. This will be a monthly award given to that restaurant with poor lighting, bad curb appeal, questionable clientele, dangerous parking lots, but good food.

*Editors note and disclaimer*

If you choose to go to one of these establishments be aware that these are normally cash only, don't always have proper air conditioning / ventilation, and should never under any circumstances be visited alone. Chances of being approached by a vagabond, prostitute, or teen runaway looking for a compassionate soul to provide them a meal is greater than 50%. I will in no way be held responsible if you finish your meal and return to your car only to find that it is on cinder blocks and the wheels are suddenly for sale across the street.

Now that the intro and disclaimer are afterthoughts in this article, on to the establishment with the distinguished honor of being known as the first Shady Restaurant of the Month. Today's winner is Sydney's Restaurant. Sydney's is located on SW29th and Independence. The exterior of Sydney's really will catch your eye with the paintings on the windows advertising $2.99 Pancake specials, $3.99 Burger deals, and $6.00 steaks. (never under any circumstances ever try a $6 steak, by the way. Its bad for your soul) It should also be noted that if you ever decide to go to Sydney's and it is raining, don't walk under the awning. For some reason that defies physics you get more water on you while under the awning than you would out in the elements unprotected. I may submit Sydney's awning for consideration as a man made wonder of the world. Also, if you enjoy eating in establishments that regulate the air temperature around you, prepare for disappointment.

Lets move on to the food. Sydney's serves a full menu, including breakfast, all day. Everything is cooked on a griddle and prepared fresh. Pancakes are light and fluffy, eggs are cooked perfectly, hashbrowns are fried up golden brown and delicious, bacon is crispy without being burned, and the sausage is flavorful. I know what you are thinking. Its breakfast food. Its impossible to screw this cooking up. Its not true gourmet cuisine. Why don't you review the meatloaf, or the burger, or even the ...pardon while I vomit in my mouth... the $6 steak. Well, faithful readers, I'm simply not that brave. Why give a charming little place like this the opportunity to disappoint? Eat the breakfast. Its cheap, servers are friendly, and if they accidentally spill coke into your gravy they are more than willing to bring you more gravy. Sydney's is always willing to accommodate those crazy off menu substitutions that are often necessary such as double hash browns, no toast, or maybe you feel like the Eggs with Meat platter but want to really jazz it up by having a variety of meats rather than just a pile of sausage. I like to call this substitution the "pig potpourri". Another bonus is Sydney's accepts all major credit cards. Please be prepared to help unplug the large box fan and to plug in the MCR reader as the waitresses are too short to reach the plugs.

Sure Sydney's Restaurant has plenty of characteristics that should cause every natural instinct within you to not stop, but to go find someplace "safer", but then where would we be? I'll tell you one thing, if it weren't for the courage to stop in and try places like this we sure wouldn't have a "Shady Restaurant of the Month" award to celebrate. You are also much more likely to get a grilled cheese with the mother Mary appearing in the grill marks at a place like this than you would at your little yuppie grill uptown. A couple good rules of thumb for finding your own little shady wonder:

1) Look for a full parking lot

2) If you can smell it from inside your car with the windows rolled up, they are busy cooking and not simply a front for drug trafficking

3) Look for an "established in 19...."(older number the better)

4) Never travel alone

5) Never go after dark

6) Share your finds with others.

The reward of finding a place like this, outside of the pure adrenaline rush of the potential for conflict, is sharing with others. Being selfish and hording a little shady wonder to yourself is a character flaw.